That is the directory I got from Rouses' employees the other day when I asked them where the h#^* they put EVERYTHING?!
As I walked through Rouses Epicurean in Thibodaux, my favorite nearby grocery store, I realized I couldn't find anything on my list. Now I'm a mom and I make my grocery list in the order in which I will encounter the items in the store so that I can be as efficient as possible. Moms have to prepare. Who knows if I'll have both kids. Who knows if the 3 year old will decide to stick his tongue out and offend all the old people. Who knows if the 3 year old will leap to his death from the cart, or, God forbid, make me maneuver one of those humongous car carts. I just never know . . . . so I need something to be predictable. And NOTHING was where I knew it was.
At one point, during one of my many loops around the store, I realized that I had passed the same woman several times and we both had the same expression of bemused lostness on our faces.
I asked several employees why they had done this. Why had they moved everything but the produce, meat and milk? Give me a reason not to hate you as my 3 year old yells at me that we've already been down this aisle THREE times! Most of them shrugged and said, "I don't know." And then the cashier gave me this answer: "I think it's a marketing thing. . . you know, to get you to go around the store more and buy more things . . . Do you want a directory?"
I just blinked at her, supressing my rage, and left Rouses with two directories and half the items on my list. Like I could read a directory, keep my 3 year old from scaring people AND not knock over the displays with the car cart.